yesterday, my mom left Malaysia, back to Macau to carry on with her routine.
today, my sis left for Aus, back to her routine, while my bro, to Dubai for a holiday with his wife.
i didn't send the earlier two, but i somehow followed to send my bro to the airport,
which was actually unnecessary,
but i followed anyhow.
we practically just drove there, to drop my bro and then left straight for home.
see, it was really unnecessary for me to follow.
but i guess there was a benefit of some sort.
this route have been the exact same route we take, both to the airport and to my grandma's place.
so yeah, since i wasn't talking to anyone, and i wasn't the one driving,
i drifted into a world of my own,
thinking about the past to whichever memory that i could prickle upon, to ponder upon,
but it really is awkward now thinking that my grandma isn't around anymore.
things changed drastically,
and knowing me, i hate changes, let alone drastic ones.
i know now i'll have this weird feeling whenever i look and see some random grandma who could possibly be near my grandma's age. =/
for instance, today, i was queueing at the counter at tesco, where i looked back and caught a glimpse of some random grandma, it got me wanting to look away as soon as i could, because it reminded me of my grandma.
it really is that easy for me to elapse in a delusional world of my own,
just give me a few minutes on my own, and there i'll go,
yes, it would be easy to capture me back to reality,
provided if you could distract me from that current thought i was having, otherwise it would just leave me in that pondering state for the rest of the day,
at times, it could worsen, to a point where i can't talk at all, because the thought was overwhelming by itself.
=/
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
given the time to ponder about,
i miss my grandma.
just today when i was about to leave home for a out-of-routine-shopping, i saw that there was a funeral set-up few doors down from my home,
it reminded me about the funeral experience i had not too long ago,
nope, they were not good memories,
yes, they did bring me some laughters and some confusion about the process,
but what got me pondering upon is the fact that i won't be able to see my grandma anymore.
i loved family gatherings.
those days were the happiest.
especially during chinese new years.
we would all gather up on the 2nd day of chinese new year to celebrate both chinese new year and my grandma's birthday.
those days were the happiest.
where we all would just talk and catch up with each other.
those days were the happiest.
because we could all see my grandma, smile, enjoying the presence of everyone.
those days were the happiest.
where we get to eat together, with a big number of us on a round table, chatting, eating, laughing.
those days... were the happiest.
i do love my grandma,
i just don't express it well.
what worries me is my mother and my auntie,
all this while, they have always been worried about my grandma without fail.
whenever they want to go home to visit my grandma, i would be tagging along.
everytime my mom comes home, she never fails to visit my grandma.
even when she's working over there on the other side of the sea, she would try to call my grandma, eventhough my grandma had hearing difficulties, but i'm sure it made her happy just knowing that her daughter is thinking of her.
and if my grandma is willing to, my mom would bring my grandma out to places from time to time.
during the funeral session,
my aunt and mom cried,
and that in turn made me cry along with them.
it was overwhelming,
i couldn't stand the fact that they were both upset,
the two people whom i love most are upset and are crying there and then,
it broke my heart that they were upset,
i cried along with them.
they loved my grandma.
they cared in everyway they could.
but yet, there are times that their effort were being doubted, and that hurt them the most,
all they were doing was providing my grandma with love, like how she showered them with love when they were younger.
i have no clue what i was supposed to post about,
but i just felt like posting something.
i guess this would do this time around.
love, need not to be expressed by just mere words.
love, is best understood and felt by other means.
words are only means of decoration, it means nothing if there were no meaning behind it.
tears, a sign of love.
tears that flow without words, the most powerful way one could feel the love that person has towards that one person,
or maybe a few.
tears flow, when we are hurt by people we trust most, those whom we loved most.
a tight hug, can be a sign of love.
how tight a person hugs you, shows how much you are appreciated by the other person.
it does not necessarily mean you have a special love, love, it's just love. period.
lol.
i can't continue any longer.
i apologise for this weird post of mine this time around.
=/
i miss my grandma.
just today when i was about to leave home for a out-of-routine-shopping, i saw that there was a funeral set-up few doors down from my home,
it reminded me about the funeral experience i had not too long ago,
nope, they were not good memories,
yes, they did bring me some laughters and some confusion about the process,
but what got me pondering upon is the fact that i won't be able to see my grandma anymore.
i loved family gatherings.
those days were the happiest.
especially during chinese new years.
we would all gather up on the 2nd day of chinese new year to celebrate both chinese new year and my grandma's birthday.
those days were the happiest.
where we all would just talk and catch up with each other.
those days were the happiest.
because we could all see my grandma, smile, enjoying the presence of everyone.
those days were the happiest.
where we get to eat together, with a big number of us on a round table, chatting, eating, laughing.
those days... were the happiest.
i do love my grandma,
i just don't express it well.
what worries me is my mother and my auntie,
all this while, they have always been worried about my grandma without fail.
whenever they want to go home to visit my grandma, i would be tagging along.
everytime my mom comes home, she never fails to visit my grandma.
even when she's working over there on the other side of the sea, she would try to call my grandma, eventhough my grandma had hearing difficulties, but i'm sure it made her happy just knowing that her daughter is thinking of her.
and if my grandma is willing to, my mom would bring my grandma out to places from time to time.
during the funeral session,
my aunt and mom cried,
and that in turn made me cry along with them.
it was overwhelming,
i couldn't stand the fact that they were both upset,
the two people whom i love most are upset and are crying there and then,
it broke my heart that they were upset,
i cried along with them.
they loved my grandma.
they cared in everyway they could.
but yet, there are times that their effort were being doubted, and that hurt them the most,
all they were doing was providing my grandma with love, like how she showered them with love when they were younger.
i have no clue what i was supposed to post about,
but i just felt like posting something.
i guess this would do this time around.
love, need not to be expressed by just mere words.
love, is best understood and felt by other means.
words are only means of decoration, it means nothing if there were no meaning behind it.
tears, a sign of love.
tears that flow without words, the most powerful way one could feel the love that person has towards that one person,
or maybe a few.
tears flow, when we are hurt by people we trust most, those whom we loved most.
a tight hug, can be a sign of love.
how tight a person hugs you, shows how much you are appreciated by the other person.
it does not necessarily mean you have a special love, love, it's just love. period.
lol.
i can't continue any longer.
i apologise for this weird post of mine this time around.
=/
Friday, October 28, 2011
we, humans are emotional beings
we, are able to express our emotions, without boundaries,
we, cry when we feel upset,
we, scream when we feel angry,
we, laugh when we experience something that tickles our laughing senses,
tears.
generally, it is meant to protect our eyes from being too dry,
it somehow has some medication to it that keeps our eyes moist, and disinfected of bacterias and such,
but why is it that sometimes, we have tears that flow down our cheeks, free-flowing all of a sudden, as though our tear duct had burst in someway or somehow.
chopping onions, make us tear,
it's because of the burning sensation that the onions that hits our eyes,
eating spicy food, make us tear,
similarly, the burning sensation on the internal was the reason to why we tear,
when we are hurt physically, we tear,
we couldn't seem to stand the pain and it is expressed through our tears.
could we control these tears from flowing, if we could in anyway?
what about tears of those who are hurt emotionally,
why does it appear like there is an never-ending flow of tears, when it comes to emotional pressures?
we watch a sad movie, with people crying, some of us would end up tearing along with the characters,
we were so emotionally attached to the characters, that we could feel the emotions that they were protraying, that it made us cry along with them.
what if your loved one was crying?
there was no reason for you to cry, but because your loved ones were crying, somehow, you would end up crying with them.
you, feel their emotions, that you felt whatever that they were feeling, and that you would elapse into tears as well.
and when you're too happy, you'd tear up too.
these would be called, 'tears of joy', a positive outcome of tears.
you are overwhelmed with joy, emotions running high, you tear.
tears, tears, tears. hrm...
we, are able to express our emotions, without boundaries,
we, cry when we feel upset,
we, scream when we feel angry,
we, laugh when we experience something that tickles our laughing senses,
tears.
generally, it is meant to protect our eyes from being too dry,
it somehow has some medication to it that keeps our eyes moist, and disinfected of bacterias and such,
but why is it that sometimes, we have tears that flow down our cheeks, free-flowing all of a sudden, as though our tear duct had burst in someway or somehow.
chopping onions, make us tear,
it's because of the burning sensation that the onions that hits our eyes,
eating spicy food, make us tear,
similarly, the burning sensation on the internal was the reason to why we tear,
when we are hurt physically, we tear,
we couldn't seem to stand the pain and it is expressed through our tears.
could we control these tears from flowing, if we could in anyway?
what about tears of those who are hurt emotionally,
why does it appear like there is an never-ending flow of tears, when it comes to emotional pressures?
we watch a sad movie, with people crying, some of us would end up tearing along with the characters,
we were so emotionally attached to the characters, that we could feel the emotions that they were protraying, that it made us cry along with them.
what if your loved one was crying?
there was no reason for you to cry, but because your loved ones were crying, somehow, you would end up crying with them.
you, feel their emotions, that you felt whatever that they were feeling, and that you would elapse into tears as well.
and when you're too happy, you'd tear up too.
these would be called, 'tears of joy', a positive outcome of tears.
you are overwhelmed with joy, emotions running high, you tear.
tears, tears, tears. hrm...
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
hello there.
i'm not to sure if i'm actually allowed to post this up,
but i just needed to write something about it,
hopefully nothing paranormal would happen if i do. hehe
well. i'm left with about 4 to 5 days til my first paper, bio.
and it's my finals,
but i'm having my break now, but yeah. it's a study break but i'm thrown off of my routine of 'going to college to study til it's late and i'm satisfied with that i've studied for the day',
because,
my grandma had passed away.
i'm not sad.
but i do miss her.
she had been so strong all this while.
even that snake bite three years back did not kill her.
she was be bed-ridden for about one week, and we all thought it was time for her to go then already,
but nope, she was strong, too strong in fact, that she survived the poisonous snake bite to live until now.
but of course we didn't want to risk her getting another injury like that, so my aunts and uncles planned out some 'plan' where they took turns taking care of grandma.
owh. prior to that snake incident, she lived alone in her own home.
where she rears chickens and pigeons.
goodness know how much strength this old lady has,
she managed to move heavy objects around by herself, mending her chicken coop and the pigeon... wait. it's actually the pigeon's coop, because the chickens were free to walk around. HAHA
when i was younger, she had ducks. one super old duck which i remember walking about the house, slowly but he was walking around still. =)
i got that animal love thanks to both my auntie and grandma, actually.
i just realised it. HAHA
everytime i go back to my grandma's place, she'd give me one of her little chicks to play with.
play, but i didn't kill any of them.
it would break my heart if i do injure them in anyways.
but i remember them being too comfortable and they just shit on me.
HAHHAHA
good times.
and my grandma is SO CUTE!
her favourite would be KFC. HAHAHAHAHA
ironically, she rears them chicken, but she loves them chicken meat. =O
and!! we would travel to Seremban often when we do pay our grandma a visit,
going to Pizza Hut, calling pizzas, 'la-kia-si' also meant, spider web.
hahahahahaha.
she is so cute!!
and i would have to say, she was the only reason, everybody returned home to celebrate chinese new year together as a whole big family,
for her birthday falls on the 2nd day of chinese new year, which makes everything much more significant.
but due to family complicants, that, had failed for the past two to three years.
but within that three years, my grandma was able to spend more time with each of her children.
so i guess, she was satisfied already.
and i'm pretty sure she was choosing the right timing to go,
because everything seemed to have fall in the right time;
-my mom came back with her boyfriend,
-my sis came back for a transit to indonesia, so she managed to know what is happening somehow,
-my grandma's sister (or was it my grandpa's sister? hrm...) passed away not too long ago.
and i guess she didn't feel like it was necessary for her to further fight it anymore.
she's 88 years old.
somehow the chinese tradition made it a total of 91, as the death age,
and at the age of 91, it seems like some sort of celebration, because it isn't easy for old people to live that long anymore.
my grandma was awesome.
but she stil cute!
especially when she laughs.
=)
about ten years ago, my grandpa passed away.
i was too young to remember what exactly happened, but i know i was that little girl walking around, confused with what was happening.
so when the funeral was taking place this time for my grandma,
i was trying hard to remember what happened for my grandpa, because the memory i have of it was really vague.
=/
owh! i'm like the youngest cousin of the 'Wong' family.
and i still am as blur as usual from time to time. haha
what i didn't get was, the praying session.
it doesn't make any sense to me.
and it got me laughing several times.
and wait. i have issues with my surname. HAHAHA
i'm supposed to follow my father's surname, Ou, right?
but since young, my mom had always thought me how to write the 'Wong' as my surname in chinese.
So, when this happened, the praying session needed to annouce everybody's name, those of who are related to my grandma; the sons, the daughters, the in-laws, the grandchildrens and the greatgrandchildrens.
so when my name was mentioned, 'Wong Kah Sim'
it was really awkward. all my cousins looked back at me. HAHAHAHAHHA
i, myself was confused, my facial expression didn't even change when they all looked back at me, i just go O.o???
HAHAHAHAH
and their chants were as though they were randomly mentioning random names,
they even had a special tune for it,
and because the session was freaking long, i somehow decided to entertain myself by moving to the beat of the tune from time to time.
yes, it seems disrespectful.
but i am YOUNG! and long praying sessions like that could easily bore me to sleep. =/
there was this one session where it requires us to walk around the front compound of the house, pick up a coin and place it into a bowl, then pluck a leaf off a branch that was placed there, and placing the leaf into the box.
i forgotten how many rounds we walked, but as we were entering the 4th round, one of the 'praying people' told us "pluck more the better", well DUHH, my bro was infront of me and we just started plucking leaves like nobody's business.
that was the fun part.
it looked funny. hehe. because behind us were the two grandchildren,
in a way, it looked like we, kids were playing, plucking as many leaves, literally bringing down the whole branch.
wait. hahah! i think i just confused you with the lining up sequence thingy.
chinese and their weird culture of 'PRIORITISING THE MALES', sigh.
here is how it is like;
Black - sons and daughters
Dark Blue - son's children
Light Blue - daughter's children
Green - son's son's children
it further separates between the 'wongs' and the 'non-wongs',
red ribbon for those who does not have the surname of 'wong' in their name.
and non for those who are 'wongs'.
surname-ist.
tsktstsk.
anyhow. we had 4 sessions of prayers yesterday.
started from 6pm all up til 12 midnight.
there were break intervals for us to have a breather.
no wonder i don't remember a thing about my grandfather's funeral.
i only remember walking all the way from my grandma's house all the way to the burial site.
pretty sure we gonna do that too.
my goodness. i'm seriously fretting the fact that i have no memory of my grandfather's funeral. gaaaahhhh
popo ah! rest in peace. =)
we all sayang you! <3
say hi to gonggong for me! =)
i'm not to sure if i'm actually allowed to post this up,
but i just needed to write something about it,
hopefully nothing paranormal would happen if i do. hehe
well. i'm left with about 4 to 5 days til my first paper, bio.
and it's my finals,
but i'm having my break now, but yeah. it's a study break but i'm thrown off of my routine of 'going to college to study til it's late and i'm satisfied with that i've studied for the day',
because,
my grandma had passed away.
i'm not sad.
but i do miss her.
she had been so strong all this while.
even that snake bite three years back did not kill her.
she was be bed-ridden for about one week, and we all thought it was time for her to go then already,
but nope, she was strong, too strong in fact, that she survived the poisonous snake bite to live until now.
but of course we didn't want to risk her getting another injury like that, so my aunts and uncles planned out some 'plan' where they took turns taking care of grandma.
owh. prior to that snake incident, she lived alone in her own home.
where she rears chickens and pigeons.
goodness know how much strength this old lady has,
she managed to move heavy objects around by herself, mending her chicken coop and the pigeon... wait. it's actually the pigeon's coop, because the chickens were free to walk around. HAHA
when i was younger, she had ducks. one super old duck which i remember walking about the house, slowly but he was walking around still. =)
i got that animal love thanks to both my auntie and grandma, actually.
i just realised it. HAHA
everytime i go back to my grandma's place, she'd give me one of her little chicks to play with.
play, but i didn't kill any of them.
it would break my heart if i do injure them in anyways.
but i remember them being too comfortable and they just shit on me.
HAHHAHA
good times.
and my grandma is SO CUTE!
her favourite would be KFC. HAHAHAHAHA
ironically, she rears them chicken, but she loves them chicken meat. =O
and!! we would travel to Seremban often when we do pay our grandma a visit,
going to Pizza Hut, calling pizzas, 'la-kia-si' also meant, spider web.
hahahahahaha.
she is so cute!!
and i would have to say, she was the only reason, everybody returned home to celebrate chinese new year together as a whole big family,
for her birthday falls on the 2nd day of chinese new year, which makes everything much more significant.
but due to family complicants, that, had failed for the past two to three years.
but within that three years, my grandma was able to spend more time with each of her children.
so i guess, she was satisfied already.
and i'm pretty sure she was choosing the right timing to go,
because everything seemed to have fall in the right time;
-my mom came back with her boyfriend,
-my sis came back for a transit to indonesia, so she managed to know what is happening somehow,
-my grandma's sister (or was it my grandpa's sister? hrm...) passed away not too long ago.
and i guess she didn't feel like it was necessary for her to further fight it anymore.
she's 88 years old.
somehow the chinese tradition made it a total of 91, as the death age,
and at the age of 91, it seems like some sort of celebration, because it isn't easy for old people to live that long anymore.
my grandma was awesome.
but she stil cute!
especially when she laughs.
=)
about ten years ago, my grandpa passed away.
i was too young to remember what exactly happened, but i know i was that little girl walking around, confused with what was happening.
so when the funeral was taking place this time for my grandma,
i was trying hard to remember what happened for my grandpa, because the memory i have of it was really vague.
=/
owh! i'm like the youngest cousin of the 'Wong' family.
and i still am as blur as usual from time to time. haha
what i didn't get was, the praying session.
it doesn't make any sense to me.
and it got me laughing several times.
and wait. i have issues with my surname. HAHAHA
i'm supposed to follow my father's surname, Ou, right?
but since young, my mom had always thought me how to write the 'Wong' as my surname in chinese.
So, when this happened, the praying session needed to annouce everybody's name, those of who are related to my grandma; the sons, the daughters, the in-laws, the grandchildrens and the greatgrandchildrens.
so when my name was mentioned, 'Wong Kah Sim'
it was really awkward. all my cousins looked back at me. HAHAHAHAHHA
i, myself was confused, my facial expression didn't even change when they all looked back at me, i just go O.o???
HAHAHAHAH
and their chants were as though they were randomly mentioning random names,
they even had a special tune for it,
and because the session was freaking long, i somehow decided to entertain myself by moving to the beat of the tune from time to time.
yes, it seems disrespectful.
but i am YOUNG! and long praying sessions like that could easily bore me to sleep. =/
there was this one session where it requires us to walk around the front compound of the house, pick up a coin and place it into a bowl, then pluck a leaf off a branch that was placed there, and placing the leaf into the box.
i forgotten how many rounds we walked, but as we were entering the 4th round, one of the 'praying people' told us "pluck more the better", well DUHH, my bro was infront of me and we just started plucking leaves like nobody's business.
that was the fun part.
it looked funny. hehe. because behind us were the two grandchildren,
in a way, it looked like we, kids were playing, plucking as many leaves, literally bringing down the whole branch.
wait. hahah! i think i just confused you with the lining up sequence thingy.
chinese and their weird culture of 'PRIORITISING THE MALES', sigh.
here is how it is like;
Black - sons and daughters
Dark Blue - son's children
Light Blue - daughter's children
Green - son's son's children
it further separates between the 'wongs' and the 'non-wongs',
red ribbon for those who does not have the surname of 'wong' in their name.
and non for those who are 'wongs'.
surname-ist.
tsktstsk.
anyhow. we had 4 sessions of prayers yesterday.
started from 6pm all up til 12 midnight.
there were break intervals for us to have a breather.
no wonder i don't remember a thing about my grandfather's funeral.
i only remember walking all the way from my grandma's house all the way to the burial site.
pretty sure we gonna do that too.
my goodness. i'm seriously fretting the fact that i have no memory of my grandfather's funeral. gaaaahhhh
popo ah! rest in peace. =)
we all sayang you! <3
say hi to gonggong for me! =)
Saturday, October 22, 2011
the moment i came home lst night, i immediately sat there in my room, typing this out.
but i had an internet breakdown at home, i saved it as an external drafts.
and now i am sitting in oldtown white coffee, taking advantage of it's free wifi, just to post this up.
this, is for you.
21st Oct, 11.17pm
That shirt made us look like we were some janitor, or some Petronas workers. But we wore them proud anyways. It was what made us significant, this year. How can we possible forget this AusMat shirt when we have such eye catching colour as our shit colour. LMAO. Walking around pyramid or ikea with a whole group of us wearing our AusMat shirt, made us feel like we were Petronas workers on a lunch break. HAHAHAHAHA. We awesome like that, yo. =)
Even so, we wore it proud. We flashed it in any way possible. HAHAHAHAHA
And then we have the discussion room, where it had somehow become our second home, aside from all the classrooms we had. We would practically swarm the room, as though it belongs to AusMat all by itself. Best memory? Haha. AusMat CS marathon in that computer room in the library. How could one possibly forget those days? And it was what? One week in during EE2? Hahahah! The whole flock of us will practically take over the whole room, start gaming CS against one another, cursing almost every second in between. Librarians came in to tell us not to play, threatening to take our student ids away… but we still went on playing… UNTIL THE DAY THAT THEY BLOCKED US FROM INSTALLING CS INTO THE COMPUTERS THERE! =( And so, we went back into studying mode… really?
Thinking back, shit! AusMat was only for ten months? Who said it was 11months in the first place ah?! Hahaha! Am I the only one who got tricked into getting to Ausmat? Claiming it to be the easiest pre-U course ever available, cheapest, and most worth it? Claiming that it would guarantee a place somewhere, somehow? Maybe I was over exaggerating it, but AusMat was probably nowhere near label, “Easiest Pre-U Course Ever Available”.
My apologies. It’s just me complaining on how tough AusMat was. =P It probably is the easiest, because we have yet to compare it with other pre-U courses. But as we went through the months, getting to know more about other courses, everybody seemed to be claiming that their courses are the hardest. Mind you, of course it is hard. It’s your one and only experience. Unless you have experienced all the different different pre-U courses available, then maybe you have the rights to say so. But as of now, na-uh.
First day of AusMat: “Oooohhh! So cool! So cool! Must study hard! Must study hard! Yeah! Assignment? AIYAK! Nehmind! Do!! Do!! Do properly and get good marks.”
First week of AusMat: “Wah! Subject very interesting! Okay! Can study! Can do it!”
First month of AusMat: “Woi. Parking like crap, jam like mad. Siennn! Oih? EXAM AH? SHITTT!”
First Evaluation Exam: “Huh? Why results so poor one? It’s okay, still got one more sem to cover up! Add oil!!”
One month before EE2: “SO MUCH TO COVER! HOW TO STUDY?!”
EE2: “I think I know how to do this! EYH?! CANNOT DO?! SHITTT!!!”
Return of EE2 results: “What on earth? Why am I scoring so low? What have I been doing? OKAY! MUST BUCK UP FOR MOCK!!!!”
Mock: “omg. Is this for real? GG.”
Mock results: “OH SHITT!!! CONFIRM GG LIAO! NOooooooooooooo~”
Last day of AusMat: T.T
Being in college is like being stuck in high school for 5 years. The only difference is that, everything within those 5 years of high school, is cramped into a short period of ten months.
Ten. Months.
Everything was happening so fast that I was literally thrown out of my own normality.
Friends. Studies. Classes. Daily routine.
It was practically messed up. =/
But looking at the bright side, despite how much that had happened, I learned so much more even though it was only within a short period of time. And I have nobody else to thank but you, each and every one of you who have stepped into my life for the past ten months. Each and every one of you, have taught me so much, that by mentioning it all, it would probably bore you until you’ll just stop here and search for something else more entertaining to do. Even by reading this, I thank you! For your support, for reading this, even though I may or may not know you, you took some of your precious time to come and pay by blog a visit; I thank you with a sincere heart of mine.
However so, I do wish to apologise.
Apologise if I have offended you in any way, (please do tell me if I do)
Apologise if I have caused misunderstandings in any way,
Apologise if I have been rude to you,
Apologise if I have not been listening to you,
Apologise for not appreciating things,
Apologise if I have annoyed you, with all my nonsense,
Apologise, for everything that I have done, to create that discomfort that you have on me.
I, apologise.
Okay. Now I would want to thank you! Thank you for being a part of my college life.
Thank you, for the memories we shared,
Thank you, for making an appearance in my life,
Thank you, for all those that you have thought me,
Thank you, for making me realise things that I have missed,
Thank you, for being patient with me up until today,
Thank you, for being who you are.
Really, thank you.
I saw a rainbow today. Yes, I am random and mad at times, but I have been yearning to catch a glimpse of a rainbow, for like ever. I remember the last time I saw a rainbow was at the very beginning of this year. And today, mr. Rainbow made an appearance again. It seems like it has some connection with AusMat or something. But I am thankful, that I manage to catch that glimpse of rainbow today. It was a good day today. This year, is something that I would definitely remember.
and not to mention the awesomest people i have met throughout the whole of AusMat!
beginning of the year, i had a different set of friends, and thank goodness, i managed to break out of my own shell and gotten to know more people, and also to know how awesome these people are. magnificent.
We could raid Ikea with the whole bunch of us, sitting there in the sofa area where it is blocked for the public for viewing, just to take a group photo.
We could raid the discussion room like nobody's business, until the librarian had to come and break us up,
We could raid almost any restaurants with us, one huge group of AusMat people, just to have a meal together,
We, simply did almost everything together.
i am glad that everything happened as it is,
i, have no regrets this year.
everything was in place,
everything was right,
everything, every moment, was an awesome one.
=)
thank you. all of you. it was really difficult for me to accept the fact that AusMat is over. but i guess there is nothing left to do, but to accept it as it is.
=')
good luck to all of you in the future,
keep it up with the awesomeness each and everyone of you have,
you, are special.
<3
but i had an internet breakdown at home, i saved it as an external drafts.
and now i am sitting in oldtown white coffee, taking advantage of it's free wifi, just to post this up.
this, is for you.
21st Oct, 11.17pm
That shirt made us look like we were some janitor, or some Petronas workers. But we wore them proud anyways. It was what made us significant, this year. How can we possible forget this AusMat shirt when we have such eye catching colour as our shit colour. LMAO. Walking around pyramid or ikea with a whole group of us wearing our AusMat shirt, made us feel like we were Petronas workers on a lunch break. HAHAHAHAHA. We awesome like that, yo. =)
Even so, we wore it proud. We flashed it in any way possible. HAHAHAHAHA
And then we have the discussion room, where it had somehow become our second home, aside from all the classrooms we had. We would practically swarm the room, as though it belongs to AusMat all by itself. Best memory? Haha. AusMat CS marathon in that computer room in the library. How could one possibly forget those days? And it was what? One week in during EE2? Hahahah! The whole flock of us will practically take over the whole room, start gaming CS against one another, cursing almost every second in between. Librarians came in to tell us not to play, threatening to take our student ids away… but we still went on playing… UNTIL THE DAY THAT THEY BLOCKED US FROM INSTALLING CS INTO THE COMPUTERS THERE! =( And so, we went back into studying mode… really?
Thinking back, shit! AusMat was only for ten months? Who said it was 11months in the first place ah?! Hahaha! Am I the only one who got tricked into getting to Ausmat? Claiming it to be the easiest pre-U course ever available, cheapest, and most worth it? Claiming that it would guarantee a place somewhere, somehow? Maybe I was over exaggerating it, but AusMat was probably nowhere near label, “Easiest Pre-U Course Ever Available”.
My apologies. It’s just me complaining on how tough AusMat was. =P It probably is the easiest, because we have yet to compare it with other pre-U courses. But as we went through the months, getting to know more about other courses, everybody seemed to be claiming that their courses are the hardest. Mind you, of course it is hard. It’s your one and only experience. Unless you have experienced all the different different pre-U courses available, then maybe you have the rights to say so. But as of now, na-uh.
First day of AusMat: “Oooohhh! So cool! So cool! Must study hard! Must study hard! Yeah! Assignment? AIYAK! Nehmind! Do!! Do!! Do properly and get good marks.”
First week of AusMat: “Wah! Subject very interesting! Okay! Can study! Can do it!”
First month of AusMat: “Woi. Parking like crap, jam like mad. Siennn! Oih? EXAM AH? SHITTT!”
First Evaluation Exam: “Huh? Why results so poor one? It’s okay, still got one more sem to cover up! Add oil!!”
One month before EE2: “SO MUCH TO COVER! HOW TO STUDY?!”
EE2: “I think I know how to do this! EYH?! CANNOT DO?! SHITTT!!!”
Return of EE2 results: “What on earth? Why am I scoring so low? What have I been doing? OKAY! MUST BUCK UP FOR MOCK!!!!”
Mock: “omg. Is this for real? GG.”
Mock results: “OH SHITT!!! CONFIRM GG LIAO! NOooooooooooooo~”
Last day of AusMat: T.T
Being in college is like being stuck in high school for 5 years. The only difference is that, everything within those 5 years of high school, is cramped into a short period of ten months.
Ten. Months.
Everything was happening so fast that I was literally thrown out of my own normality.
Friends. Studies. Classes. Daily routine.
It was practically messed up. =/
But looking at the bright side, despite how much that had happened, I learned so much more even though it was only within a short period of time. And I have nobody else to thank but you, each and every one of you who have stepped into my life for the past ten months. Each and every one of you, have taught me so much, that by mentioning it all, it would probably bore you until you’ll just stop here and search for something else more entertaining to do. Even by reading this, I thank you! For your support, for reading this, even though I may or may not know you, you took some of your precious time to come and pay by blog a visit; I thank you with a sincere heart of mine.
However so, I do wish to apologise.
Apologise if I have offended you in any way, (please do tell me if I do)
Apologise if I have caused misunderstandings in any way,
Apologise if I have been rude to you,
Apologise if I have not been listening to you,
Apologise for not appreciating things,
Apologise if I have annoyed you, with all my nonsense,
Apologise, for everything that I have done, to create that discomfort that you have on me.
I, apologise.
Okay. Now I would want to thank you! Thank you for being a part of my college life.
Thank you, for the memories we shared,
Thank you, for making an appearance in my life,
Thank you, for all those that you have thought me,
Thank you, for making me realise things that I have missed,
Thank you, for being patient with me up until today,
Thank you, for being who you are.
Really, thank you.
I saw a rainbow today. Yes, I am random and mad at times, but I have been yearning to catch a glimpse of a rainbow, for like ever. I remember the last time I saw a rainbow was at the very beginning of this year. And today, mr. Rainbow made an appearance again. It seems like it has some connection with AusMat or something. But I am thankful, that I manage to catch that glimpse of rainbow today. It was a good day today. This year, is something that I would definitely remember.
and not to mention the awesomest people i have met throughout the whole of AusMat!
beginning of the year, i had a different set of friends, and thank goodness, i managed to break out of my own shell and gotten to know more people, and also to know how awesome these people are. magnificent.
We could raid Ikea with the whole bunch of us, sitting there in the sofa area where it is blocked for the public for viewing, just to take a group photo.
We could raid the discussion room like nobody's business, until the librarian had to come and break us up,
We could raid almost any restaurants with us, one huge group of AusMat people, just to have a meal together,
We, simply did almost everything together.
i am glad that everything happened as it is,
i, have no regrets this year.
everything was in place,
everything was right,
everything, every moment, was an awesome one.
=)
thank you. all of you. it was really difficult for me to accept the fact that AusMat is over. but i guess there is nothing left to do, but to accept it as it is.
=')
good luck to all of you in the future,
keep it up with the awesomeness each and everyone of you have,
you, are special.
<3
Thursday, October 20, 2011
i believe there is a reason to everything.
as a person, a plain human, living on the surface of the earth,
you and i, we learn to accept that fact, and make the best out of everything.
but because not every reasons are best not to be revealed,
many of us still live in the shadows.
we would might as well not know the absolute truth that we were all been looking for.
we have no proof for sure if a particular statement is entirely true or false.
yes, we learn. but it had always been a choice for us to believe or not to.
when we choose to believe what was being told, we, will flip if we do find out the real truth behind it all. in a way, it evokes the side of us who wants to know more until we are satisfied with what we want to hear.
when we choose not to believe, we would still be questioning. just in some ways which is...
... I CAN'T GET ON WITH THIS!!
i just don't trust humans.
they could've just brainwashed me in anyway possible, believing in whatever that they claim to be true.
goodness knows why lying was brought upon to civilization in the first.
sigh...
as a person, a plain human, living on the surface of the earth,
you and i, we learn to accept that fact, and make the best out of everything.
but because not every reasons are best not to be revealed,
many of us still live in the shadows.
we would might as well not know the absolute truth that we were all been looking for.
we have no proof for sure if a particular statement is entirely true or false.
yes, we learn. but it had always been a choice for us to believe or not to.
when we choose to believe what was being told, we, will flip if we do find out the real truth behind it all. in a way, it evokes the side of us who wants to know more until we are satisfied with what we want to hear.
when we choose not to believe, we would still be questioning. just in some ways which is...
... I CAN'T GET ON WITH THIS!!
i just don't trust humans.
they could've just brainwashed me in anyway possible, believing in whatever that they claim to be true.
goodness knows why lying was brought upon to civilization in the first.
sigh...
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