why am i not surprised she's rapping?

doesnt even seem like HER song and yet it is in HER album.
55% of the song was sung by another artist and 25% of the song was rapped by one male rapper. all she did was rap for like what? 20% of the song, maybe even less.

what a way to start off a post.
start it off with a complain that wasnt even necessary at all.
=/

in fact this year itself i realise i complained like ten folds of what i would have normally complained for the previous years of my life.
yes, my mom even calls me long-winded cos i kept repeating and pestering her about the same thing over and over again.
yes, my auntie learnt to face those crap i pour on her by giving me no response at all.
yes, i still do in until today.
like i said, it is even amplified.

even this year i realised i had temper.
outraging temper.
similar like how the earth erupts now and then, unpredictably.
and if that anger was not released smoothly, it'll end up as blizzard-like complaints.

i can even complain about that same thing for the whole week.
and u shouldnt be surprised if it carried on for a month or so. =O

it is that bad! =/

i have a speech task to write this coming friday.
nope. i dont think i have the confidence to write it yet. =/
DUSH. what should i do to gain my confidence?! =(

damnit. i miss writing fantasy craps. where i can fly millions of miles away from reality and crap whatever crap i feel like crapping.
*aha! alliteration. =D*
and eld is full of serious writing.
and alot of talking.
which i am NOT good at, like at all. =/
oh. and it's a scaled down subject as well, which means my total marks will be pulled down at the end of the year. like wtc.
i'm not even doing well already and then today i found out, it is a scaled down subject. =(
such sadness.

and today i also found out that three of my subjects are scaled down subjects.
*complains*frets*mumbles*
i think it would be bio, psy and eld.
bleah. =/
i have to scaled up subjects though! math cd and chem.
then they gave us a talk about a chance to drop one subject to focus on the remaining 4 subjects.

now here is what i think:
bio:
i love bio. and i want to study animals. so there is NO WAY i'm dropping this. my best subject of the 5. double NO WAY.
chem:
prerequisite subject. =/ no choice i guess. knowing that it is a scaled up, i gave me a tiny bit of hope. at least a little. since i aint fairing that well as i expected, but i guess i will be... okay? hrm...
psy:
initially i thought this subject would be fun. *one tight smack in the face* yes it is interesting, but the terms needed to be remembered is way worst than moral. bleah. scaled down subject. =( i can't drop this subject. cos i helped me alot in understanding both myself and humans. =D
eld:
also initially thought i would fair well since it's JUST english. *tight smack in the face number 2* dush. with all those serious writing, i totally lost my confidence in writing. like seriously. but it's a MUST subject. and since i cant drop my eld and join english (which seems so much more fun compared to eld), i've got to buck up. =/
mathcd:
... another prerequisite subject. it seems that i NEED this subject to get myself into Melbourne U. and this is my worst subject of the 5. struggling. i believe i just need to get myself to practice more and i'll be alright. =O

nope. i'm not dropping any subjects.
it's dumb. what if the 5th subject actually turns out the be way better than the first 4 subjects? by then, u'll probably start regretting like hell.
anyhow. i just felt like saying that.
hehe.

HAHAHA! as awesome as life can be, it is also full of complicants.
if only i could pour lubricants on those frictions for everything to go on smoothly,
if only problems would only appear in dramas,
if only there is a portal to another world altogether,
if only ...

just when i posted that, my auntie came up and commented on my singing.
apparently, i sang my lungs off until my voice is now like crap. HAHAHA
yes. i think i sored my throat. =D

omg. total randomness. =/

when it goes la la la.

i'm currently singing my lungs off, right this very moment, i just sing.
with my headphones on, music blasted into my ears, i just sing.
my uncle and auntie are downstairs with their own music on, i just sing.
knowing that they could hear my voice cracking like mad, i just sing.
looking at lyrics, following the melody, i just sing.
not knowing what the lyrics meant, i just sing.
risking getting a sore throat cos of bad singing, i just sing.

pretty much testing my vocals. eventhough i cant really hear what i'm singing cos the music playing in my ears is really that loud. o.o
owh well. screw it. i shall continue singing. =)

i have been studying!
HAHA! YESSSSS! an achievement. *proud*
it's not as much as i couldnt have been doing, but at least an improvement compared to the past two months where i hadnt actually been myself.
at least i'm recovering! neheheheheh
well. initially when i got my first sem results, i had no emotions at all.
yes. i did have a few disappointmenst with it, but really, i couldnt be bothered about it then.
and since i've been complaining to my auntie about how bad i was doing for my math and chem, so i guess she assumed i was actually failing these two subjects. hehe
WHICH I DID NOT! =O
yeay! so the moment i got my results, the first thought that came to my mind was; show my auntie immediately when i get home.
and i was expecting her to give me some sarcastic comments like; "you think u very smart la now." but instead she said "not bad ah." HURH!
=D
but of cos, my consciousness tells me i have to work harder to improve my grades and all, BUT I REALLY HAD NO FEELINGS ABOUT IT THEN! all i did was complain about how bad i did. i did compare a little, but yeah. it was just for comparing sake. heh.

weirdo.

oh!
i had my moment of hysterical laughter last friday.
i remember i used to laugh like that randomly back in highschool (especially in tuition) i could just laugh and laugh and laugh for no apparent reason.
that was the exact thing i did that friday.
i laughed until i cried.
uh huh. superb. =D
and it was all because of this italian guy's book of WEIRD stuff.
it was mind boggling. but it caught my attention!
it had words that NOBODY could understand. and had pictures that were seriously bizarre.
hrmm. give me a minute. i shall go search for the book title. =F
.
.
.
...
.....
...
..
.
.
.
hah! Codex Seraphinianus. hrm. you can google image it. the cover itself made me go insane. -.-

that was fun really. its been awhile since i got to laugh myself til a point where i CRY. that is pure laughter. =)

OKAY! now what?

ah yes. i've been hardworking too.
*LOL at self praise*
hrm. considerable laaaaaa. =/
i've been getting myself busy recently.
unlike for the past 6 months, i will only go for my physio ONCE A WEEK.
now i'm going twice a week.
which also means i have to spend more on petrol, parking and also time.
hrm...
fair enough.
considering that i want to get that whole session done by this year.
and i get to grow taller too!
ngehngehngehnghengeh.
AND AND AND!
if i'm done with my session, i can go hang out with buddies!
which also means i have to spend more.
OR!
if there's nobody who wants to hang out with me, i can just go home and SLEEP.
where is my studying time?
whenever i feel like it.
nehehehehehehe

OKAY. this is getting more and more random.
=/
super lifeless now.
i can seriously go on and on ranting about everything. =O

i better get going now.
otherwise i'll start annoying you, my very patient reader.
very much appreciated!
=)

it's my dilemma

heh. that song is kinda catchy. =F

i am definitely deprived of sleep.
and i realise it's making me hyper. =F
WHICH IS ACTUALLY A GOOD THING! hahahahahah
*crap. even i'm typing hyperly. =X *

sigh. i dont feel like typing already. but since i typed. i shall just post this out of randomness. =F

I SHALL SLEEP EARLY TONIGHT!!!! ROAR!!!!!!!!

=DD

when u do see this. =O

2.25am. yes. i should be sleeping right now.
something is not right with me. haha!
i've been sleeping real late for the past whole week.
wonder what on earth i have been doing all these while.
cant figure it out. =O

well it seems like my blog is still undiscovered.
maybe i should get a hang on the flow on words(nonsense) that could actually mean something before i publicise it.
blogging. it has been awhile. after almost a year. it takes some time. =)

i have to say blogging did encourage me to do better in my writing skills.
i have that spirit where i could just go on and on and on where thoughts just flow like a continuous flow of water.
okay. exaggeration. HAHA! like duh. for sure there are moments where i need to stop and think what to write next. but at least it helps me to have more ideas that i can vomit out easily.
yeap. blogging helps. =)

ah yes. father's day.
i have no comment in this matter.
hrm. maybe i do. just not now. =/

friends. i miss them so. but i'm being selfish and ignorant, pretending i don't care how they're doing right now. hopefully it doesnt turn me into some anti-social person.
OR it is possible that i am just being selfish waiting for them to reach out for me instead of me reaching out for them.
either way. it's distant. i hope i know what i'm doing.
even as cold as i may seem to be, no doubt, i'll still be here if they do need me in anyway.

yeap. i've timed myself. this is all i can vomit out in ten minutes.
this is quite an achievement. hehe.
goodnight loves. =)

i hate this part right here

do i?

4 in the morning

well. literally. it's 2.41 am right now. ahah
i have no idea how on earth am i going to wake up tomorrow morning. =/
as a matter of fact, today i woke up late;

wakes up, wondering why the alarm did not ring as usual,
looked out, it was really bright outside.
(because normally i set my alarm at 6.15am and i'll snooze until 6.45am. ngehehe. so yeah, it'll still be dark by that time)
then i felt something was not normal or right,
a millisecond later i realised i was late! =(
and there was rachel and diane waiting for me to drive them to college.
i felt really guilty. =/

one thing i dislike about waking up late is that i dont get to bath.
i HATE that. i guess cos i was so used to waking up early, getting my hair washed and blown dry. just to get pretty hair. =P but at the same time, the bath wakes me up. freshens up everything! =D
another thing about waking up late is that i will tend to forget things. like today i forgotten to bring my bio lab manual with me. =/
oh right, not to forget, everything just goes WRONG when u're rushing. -.-

now i'm wondering what on earth i had been doing for the past few hours when i could've just do whatever i was suppose to do, but until now, i'm still not done with my stuff. *grumbles*
hehehehehehehe. i seriously cannot get myself a laptop. otherwise this will happen for sure. i get distracted like nobody's business. =(
first there is facebook. i have NOTHING to do there, yet it's automatic. i have the computer on, laptop or desktop, the first thing that i open will be facebook. eventhough there is NOTHING, i repeat, NOTHING to do there. -.-
then there is twitter. bleah. what do i do here? i just rant.rant. and rant even more. i pity my followers in a way, they have to look at some depressing unrealistic complaints, like almost daily. =/ but i cant help it. i just complain as i like there. now that is a BAD thing. cos i realise, i got addicted to it too. sigh~
and now, we have blogger. which i only restarted yesterday. i'm pretty sure this is like some extended version of twitter, filled with rants, just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than in twitter. even leon asked me, why so i bother blogging. (i had some problems with the HTML crap that got me stressed up for like half an hour this afternoon. *grumbles*) honestly, i have no idea why i restarted my blogging. hohoho!

it's 5 minutes to 3 in the morning.
i'm left with 3 hours of sleep.
tomoro, i'll definitely go K.O. *stone face*
ahhhhh~ okay. give and take 5 to 15 minutes to rearrange this stupid html crap again. =/

i miss seeing a rainbow.

hot summer! a hot hot summer!

the first thing i opened twitter, i saw tweets about tremors and earthquakes.
it's starting to get alittle worrying.
we can actually track back this year and see like multiples of earthquakes here and there.
first would be the Christchurch Earthquake in New Zealand.
i find it quite mindboggling. =O
maybe that isnt the right word but yeah. somewhere along the lines wil do. =D
new zealand is like some super peaceful and also isolated country by itself. that one already looked bad.
those earthquakes in Indonesia seems to be like some frequent visitor coming to the surface of the earth to ROCK us for a while every now and then. =/
but i guess the most drastic would be the Japan earthquake.
it was out of randomness that i was watching National Geographic and they were having this documentary on the life experiences on the earthquake. using life footage from the citizens video-ing them for some unknow reason.

Logically. i would be terrified to a point where i would just want to save myself and my loved ones and wouldnt even BOTHER taking out any recording gadgets to capture those spectacular moments.

Like seriously.
what if those gadgets gets flushed away with the tsunami current or it dropped while u are running, busy saying your own life.
like. HUH?!
but then again. it's pretty dang cool.
thanks to these selfless ppl,
we have this oppotunity to SEE and FEEL what they went through.
there was one part where i saw those camera man.
i'm pretty sure they are from the news. and they were seen standing super close to the water as the tsunami was busy sweeping away everything.
seriously is it worth risking your life for that footage?
=/

alright alright. back to the topic. HAHAHA
hmm. yeah. i was busy talking about the tsunami. well. that always happens after an earthquake when it involves the coastal area. it was THAT bad. even those tsunami barriers did not work.
well the magnitude of the earthquake was infact the highest on the scale so far.

like honestly, i have never given thought of all this earthquakes.
thank goodness for the awesome geographical country of Malaysia,
i did not have that urge to feel worried.
even for that DRAMATIC tsunami that hit Malaysia like years ago.
hrmm...
it makes the world seem GENEROUS-er than ever.
sigh~
they actually have to WAIT for a catastrophe to happen before they decide to be generous, offering help like never before.
=(

heh. i keep flying off topic.
aha!
then two days ago, newspaper was buzzing around with the twin earthquake in Christchurch, AGAIN. =/
i cannot imagine how on earth those citizen can go through that.
the just got hit in less than 6 months and now they got hit again, DOUBLE! =/
then today, another twin earthquake in Indonesia.
reports were saying klang valley area felt the tremors. *and inti was closed down. -.- *

hrmm.
the world is deteriorating.
pretty dang sure that the end of the world is around the corner.
even if u do survive the apocalypse, u'll have to begin from scratch.
well. i'd rather be dead in that case.

as i see it, there isnt much we can do but just sit, look and watch what mummy earth will do.
which gives us a REASON to enjoy life even more!
=D
live for the present! not the future.
ngehnghengeh

and all you're ever gonna be is mean.

ta-da! i shall start reblogging again. twitter is just to short and facebook is just too public.

beware of rants every now and then though. =O hehehe

and as i see it, blogger is for those who are actually free enough to read super long posts about a certain thing, which requires much more effort than looking at facebook statuses, or scrolling down my tweet profile just to view my tweets (rants).

i've been blogging for like years i can say, but as time went by, i got a little lazy, even stopped for like half a year to almost 8 months? yeah.

hrmm where shall i begin?

ah yes. i have not been myself lately, which can be pretty noticeable in both facebook and twitter, here i am just accentuating it. =D

but of course i wont be posting the whole thing here. that would be like POURING MY HEART AND SOUL out on this blog, making ppl feeling... all kinds off feelings because of my one post. although that may see interesting. hehehe. maybe i will do that. when i feel like bitch attacking someone. hoho! so yes. beware! ;)

i've got a math test later this afternoon, and i have not studied/prepared for it. like honestly, i'm pretty sure i've lost interest in studying. i'm starting to worry cos i'm having this exact same feeling i had back in form5 and it pretty much ruined me. =/

nope. i shall pick myself back up soon enough. i definitely cannot afford to let ausmat slip away like how spm did. *yes i am still fretting about spm*

hurh.

i need my happy moment back! *uwargh!!*