i have a speech task to write this coming friday.
nope. i dont think i have the confidence to write it yet. =/
DUSH. what should i do to gain my confidence?! =(

damnit. i miss writing fantasy craps. where i can fly millions of miles away from reality and crap whatever crap i feel like crapping.
*aha! alliteration. =D*
and eld is full of serious writing.
and alot of talking.
which i am NOT good at, like at all. =/
oh. and it's a scaled down subject as well, which means my total marks will be pulled down at the end of the year. like wtc.
i'm not even doing well already and then today i found out, it is a scaled down subject. =(
such sadness.

and today i also found out that three of my subjects are scaled down subjects.
*complains*frets*mumbles*
i think it would be bio, psy and eld.
bleah. =/
i have to scaled up subjects though! math cd and chem.
then they gave us a talk about a chance to drop one subject to focus on the remaining 4 subjects.

now here is what i think:
bio:
i love bio. and i want to study animals. so there is NO WAY i'm dropping this. my best subject of the 5. double NO WAY.
chem:
prerequisite subject. =/ no choice i guess. knowing that it is a scaled up, i gave me a tiny bit of hope. at least a little. since i aint fairing that well as i expected, but i guess i will be... okay? hrm...
psy:
initially i thought this subject would be fun. *one tight smack in the face* yes it is interesting, but the terms needed to be remembered is way worst than moral. bleah. scaled down subject. =( i can't drop this subject. cos i helped me alot in understanding both myself and humans. =D
eld:
also initially thought i would fair well since it's JUST english. *tight smack in the face number 2* dush. with all those serious writing, i totally lost my confidence in writing. like seriously. but it's a MUST subject. and since i cant drop my eld and join english (which seems so much more fun compared to eld), i've got to buck up. =/
mathcd:
... another prerequisite subject. it seems that i NEED this subject to get myself into Melbourne U. and this is my worst subject of the 5. struggling. i believe i just need to get myself to practice more and i'll be alright. =O

nope. i'm not dropping any subjects.
it's dumb. what if the 5th subject actually turns out the be way better than the first 4 subjects? by then, u'll probably start regretting like hell.
anyhow. i just felt like saying that.
hehe.

HAHAHA! as awesome as life can be, it is also full of complicants.
if only i could pour lubricants on those frictions for everything to go on smoothly,
if only problems would only appear in dramas,
if only there is a portal to another world altogether,
if only ...