i am backing myself up really often now.
i am protecting myself from any potential harm now.
i know i shouldn't
i know i should be listening to what people have to say now and then
i know i should reserve some thoughts for myself

but i could no longer hold that self reserved thoughts any longer.
and example would be
yesterday, i saw this woman hitting this bird.
i'm pretty sure she intended to play with it.
but what i couldn't stand was that these people seemed to be playing with these animals as though they were toys.
that thought made me go aloud, scolding indirectly towards that woman.
going; "stupid woman, whack that bird, for certain the bird is pecking her."

then there was another time where we were in the discussion room in the library
i could not stand that these bunch of people simply left their stuff on the table,
booking the place for themselves while they leave for lunch.
i find that unacceptable, because the discussion room is always packed with people and they need to find place to sit.
why can't they just bring their belongings along with them to lunch, and then return to the libray after they are done?
if there is no place for them, then too bad.
the blardy property does not only belong to you!
unless your grandfather pays to own the land, then it's a different story altogether.
even if that is true, why must you be selfish and leave your things there, HOGGING the place?
so when they came back i was so angry, that i told them off,
"next time when you do go out, please bring your things with you, other people would like to sit too."

then there was once, i came across this car parked on two parking spots.
it was frustrating because everybody would be rushing to college early just to find parking spots, and this pathetic soul decided it was okay to do such a retarded parking at that time.
i was one of the unfortunate ones who thought i would be able to park there when it turned out that i can't.
i had to cross my fingers in hopes that there is another parking spot available for me.
what i did was, i wrote a note and put it on this particular car's windscreen.
stating, "dear genius, it is very inconsiderate for you for parking like that, other people would want to park too. signed, frustrated."

how long more do you want me to keep quiet?
how long more do you expect me to keep it all of it in me?
after 17 years of self absorbed thoughts, i really do need to let myself go.
i agree that i may have been making wrong decisions now and then.
and i need to learn from it all.