It has been awhile since I last posted something. Didnt even bother to post anything, actually. Had been spamming twitter since the exam ended. That, is a wrong statement. Truth is, I have been tweeting endlessly eversince I got this handphone of mine. Pretty sure I'm overusing it at some point, but that, has nothing to do with what I'm about to mention. And yet again, a nostalgic road will be taken as I rummaged through my thoughts to get it written as presentable as I could. =)

Sometime this hour, last year, I would most probably be sleeping, preparing myself to be psyched up for my next spm paper. Situation would be similar between last year and this year, only difference is that this year, is a definite speeded version of last year. Exam had already passed, whats next? Outings? Gatherings? Searching on what or where to go next year?

Taking the next step after one stage is complete. That is how we move forward, and somehow try to be a level smarter than we originally were. Before the end of government schooling, we just knew we were.advancing another year ahead, nothing to be choosy over. Until it came to form4. Sciece? Or arts? Even that, some of us had difficulty deciding.

I would say it was due to the fear of choosing the wrong interest, resulting with a regret we will be carrying on our heads until the day we take our last breathe. Exaggerated fact, that. But possible. It was not until last year, where parents would begin nagging on us, asking us what is it that we want to do, bugging us on which course we should be taking. Teachers too, were busy giving lectures about the types of matriculations and all. But what did we do? Ignore.

It definitely didnt feel like it was something interesting, then. It was more like, "owh well, we can always register later." smiles, walks away. Before we knew it, we were thrown all over the place, trying to figure out which course would be the one course we should be taking, in preparation of what we want to do in the future. Many of us are still struggling, unsure of what we should be focusing on. Some decided that studying is enough, but they needed to go on studying, otherwise future seems really shaky.

Then suddenly, it felt like the worst week ever, you didnt know what to do or where to go, worrying it might be the wrong decision made. Also wishing you had actually researched earlier on it, so you didnt have to go through such hassle at that moment. BUT A DECISION HAS TO BE MADE!! So you spent time scouting around, searching for the best course, asking around for opinion and such. And finally, a decision is made. Dont worry! You are still in that worrried, studies, friends, transportation, accommodation, these had to be given a thought too.

Personally, throughout my whole form5, I already knew what I wanted to do. An Australian matriculation. But then I found out there were two totally different ones. That itself got me thinking hard on deciding which exact one I should he going to. It took me a long time to make a decision, registering on the final week for registrations. Even after the decision was made, I was still in doubt, worried I had taken the wrong course. And the truth is, that worrying was necessary. It drives you to work at your best, making sure you did not regret your decision made.

Honestly, I had no regrets. Ausmat here at sunway won by a few extra points over Taylor's SAM. Parking availability, travelling distance, and it was also cheaper. =P owh. And its much bigger compared to Taylor's worn out building. Hehe. Win! And our classes have different people in different classes, we were not just stuck with the same group of people for the whole year. Hehe. I sound mean. But... Its the truth! And we could just walk to pyramid whenever we felt like it. Good choice made. =D lecturers were awesome too. <3

But hey, that part of life is over. 5years off high school being cramped into a 10 month course is still overwhelming. Knowing you had learn to love such awesome people, it is difficult to let go, just like that. We are left with no choice, but we have to move on. By that, it meant returning to that overly confused moment of our lives, deciding which universities we should be heading. Most of us will end up alone, some fortunate ones will go with an accompany or two.

Universities, requires a huge amount of money just to be in their course. I have no idea why is education so expensive. As for those weaklings like me, it really does feel unnecessary to continue studying when that fear of being unable to graduate after spending such a huge sum of money, is really unbearable. Life expenses, accommodation, they all need money. What if you end up at some university that is of no good? To think that deciding for college was already tough, this, would be much tougher.

There are just too many factors that requires a lot of thinking through before that final decision is being made.

=/

It seems really dark up ahead eventhough I'm holding about ten torches with me as I go through this path.

S.o @ 10.49am, 21st Nov 2011.