19th july, 3.23pm

"Here i am, in my mother's shoes. Literally. Walking around a shopping area, alone. Eating in a restaurant, alone. Going to places, alone. It does sound solitary. In a way where you will feel... sad. Now i do understand what it feels like to be alone. Especially in a foreign place. True enough you have friends, but that loneliness will still kill you, slowly, but surely. You don't know what you want to eat. That is actually a sad fact. When you want to do something, you'll go "ah, why bother?". I guess at this point, having a company would be the best to cure this weird queasy feeling i have in me. Even so, being in my mother's shoe, it will only be momentary. I could see that she is happy when she is with her friends, the time she really treasures, that i would totally be ignored at the same time. But i didnt feel left out. After all, this is where she is most comfortable. I understand why she was beaming when I first saw her in the airport. Yeah. She was occupied with her friend again here, but yeah. They are here for her, and i am only here for a very short time. My mom says she likes it here. She has her friends around. But i still could feel her loneliness. This time around, i truly understand how my mom feels. I admit, i am a filial daughter for not being able to understand this earlier. But fate had placed us in this state where we will take time to understand each other. I know my mom doesn't understand me, i used to grumble and all about her not understanding me...."

yeah, i couldnt finish it.
my text limit on my phone was only ten texts.
i was sitting there in McD's staring at the streets when i had that thought.
and it was overwhelming, i had to write it somewhere.
the only thing i had with me was my handphone, so i just went on and on and on... until it stopped me from continuing. =/

but yes. i do understand my mom better now.
this is definitely a productive trip. =)

goodbyebabygoodbye.