school is cool, really?

so i went to school today
and i had this very weird feeling of zoning out
did not bother hanging out with my usual gang which i usually do.
it was so... weird.
i just didnt feel like i belong there.

thinking back, i was always alone back in high school
yes, i have friends like at every corner,
but the only thing i remember was random chat with random friends/people,
i would wonder around alone in school.
i didnt feel astrange at all.
i always preferred being alone.
even if i do have my recess with a group of my friends,
they would normally be a different group of ppl every single day.
nope. i had no fixed group.
i was a loner.

wait. no. i'm still a loner.
at least now in college, i have a group of ppl i hang out with every single break.
i'm thankful for that.
but i still tend to stroll away if i can. =O
but it was always a failed intention.
it's like a daily routine already, being there, seeing the same group of ppl everyday.

high school was a whole different thing, nothing compared to the current life i have.
no doubt, high school is still high school
but as i was pondering alone just now, i had this thought,
"thank goodness i'm out of highschool."
i didnt like the fact that we have to follow every single rule that did not make sense at all.
i didnt like the fact that teachers think they were the one and only that we can depend on.
i didnt like the fact that we had to sit there in the tapak perhimpunan for daily morning assembly.
i didnt like the fact that there were no respect in almost everyone in a certain way.
i didnt like the fact that we were tied to almost everything.
practically, high school is screwed up.

but it's free education.
free?
nah. it is so called free, but we still needed to pay.
the text books back then were just dumb.
we had to pay few hundreds just to get them. yearly.
thank goodness the government subsidised the books. which should have been done like AGES ago.
i'm not thrashing. i'm only stating my opinion.
the political part in high school was just way worst.
imiagine kids not knowing anything back then, and teachers exploiting everyway they can.
no. not all teachers do it. but since the majority was doing it, the innocent turn into one of them as well.
again. i'm stating what i'm seeing.
i still do not understand what on earth PIBG is for.
all i know is that they collect money and spend money on some 'good-for-nothing-upgrades'. so called upgrades that is.
why arent they getting proper studying gadgets for the kids if they do have that much money?
like seriously, each student requiring to pay rm50, per year.
those schools with goodness-knows-how-many-thousand students there are, collecting goodness-knows-how-many-millions-of-ringgit-malaysia per annum.
tien ah.
now i see why the ******* is so screwed up.

thank goodness i made the best out of my last year in high school.
but it turns out it didnt really help me in anyway.
i was back to square one when i started college.
pfft.
my most memorable year would definitely be form 5.
the year where i made the best of everything.
at least i'd like to think i did.
and it is the only thing i am proud of.
but like i said, it did NOT help me in anyway right after high school ended.
so much for my effort.
but yet it was a memorable one, i guess that was the thing that worth the most.

*here starts my bragging moment, u can choose to ignore this part up until the next sentence that has this star thing. =) *
first. i broke up with my bf.
hah. that's right boy. one smack in your face. i think i made him into a monster though. he's like some ass right now. =O
i did it cos i wanted to make the best of my last year in high school.
i dont care if u see this, cos i believe you're some desperate bastard right now.
next, i just wanted to take up as many posts as i can.
i thought it would help me sometime later but yeah. damnit.
managed to get president for girl guide and green house. =)
also got secretary post for athletics.
my girl guide teacher even threatened to drop my position if i did not do my job properly cos i had that post as captain of green house.
the most tiring job i had to do was the secretary work.
that teacher was so troublesome and lazy. i had to run round the school ten times just because he did not do that one small thing which was long ago due.
hurh.
i remember for the first 4-5 months of form5, i was running like everywhere,
only going home at about 6pm almost everyday.
i was given the responsibility, i will not take it forgranted. roar!
oh right! i didnt have that intention to participate for the mssd thingy that year.
but i went for the training cos i thought i had to.
which was a good thing, cos it made me participate in the high jump event.
which then got me bronze. =F
well. i was super happy. i broke my own record. and it was a rebound for me cos i couldnt even reach my own record the previous year.
dont bother asking me how high it was, i'm not that good. i'm only average. =O
as for my green house, it was another super achievement for me. =)
sweet! i lead my team to victory! nehehehehehe
though i did not participate much for that year's sports, which was a good thing, cos my friend who was trailing behind me for this long jump event, finally won her gold. =)
*glory moment ends here*
then it came to studies.
huh. all i can say is that i have wasted time.
=/

well. this is one super long post. i doubt anyone would bother reading this.
but at the same time, i really feel like publicising this post.
=O
nah. i'm sure even if i did, not many will be seeing this. =D

and yes.
i miss u retarded ppl of smk pbp1. =(